Helping Your Kids Handle Anxiety & Depression

Anxiety and depression are on the rise in children and young adults. Dealing with these conditions can be tough for adults, so it is incredibly important that we help our children learn how to recognize these feelings and handle them in a healthy way. You don’t have to wait to see signs of anxiety or depression to start doing the suggestions below.

Parents, help your child implement these actions into their lives. Show them by example, do them together. Too many times we assume our children know what to do with information they are given.

Healthy ways to handle anxiety and depression:

• Establish healthy habits and routines
• Build good relationships with people you can see in person
• Get involved in activities you are interested in – hobbies, volunteer, sports, etc.
• Get a job
• Move around
• Go outside
• Practice having a positive attitude
• Know what triggers these feelings
• Take a break
• Learn to be flexible
• Learn time management
• Learn how to break big projects into smaller ones
• Learn to say “no”
• Talk to a counselor

Having an established routine helps to keep you from feeling listless. Instead of grabbing your phone or watching tv first thing in the morning (setting the tone for the rest of the day) set a morning routine. For example, make your bed, workout, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, make a plan for your day, talk to a friend about meeting later that day or just to see how they are doing. Other healthy habits are making sure you are getting enough sleep and eating healthy.

Humans are social creatures that need to have physical, emotional and intellectual relationships with other humans. Humans that we actually know and can interact with in person. If your child doesn’t have people like this in their lives you need to get them some. How? You can be one of them. Talk to your child and better yet, listen to them. Spend quality time with them to show them you care about them and who they are as a person. Get your kids involved in youth groups where they can meet other kids with similar interests and values. Set times to hang out with friends in person.

Think about what you enjoy doing. Spend time on your hobbies or try something new! Volunteer and help a cause that you are passionate about. Both of these things will enrich your life and connect you with people who have similar interests.

Get a job! A job can help you feel a sense of purpose, responsibility and pride. These can boost your self-esteem and self-confidence. I loved my summer jobs working at an ice cream shop and a bookstore/coffee shop as a teen. And I always had money to go out with my friends or save for something I really wanted.

Move around! Maybe working out isn’t your thing so find something that is. Take a walk, dance, ride your bike, swim… just move! Your body releases chemicals that improve you mood when you do.

Want another way to be happier? Go outside! Vitamin D deficiency is a real thing. Go outside and get your daily dose and feel your mood improve.

Practice having a positive attitude. Yes, practice. It is easier to have negative thoughts which will always bring you down. Instead, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Doing this over time will literally change your brain and how you perceive things making you an overall happier person.

Pay attention to what triggers your anxiety or depression. When you find something that triggers feelings of anxiety or depression write it down. Being aware of your triggers can help you deal with them. Make a plan on how to handle these events so they do not send you spiraling.

Take a break. Sometimes we just need a moment to breathe. Take 15 minutes to reset. Play upbeat music to improve you mood. Have a snack. Get some fresh air.

Accept that there are things in life you cannot control. This is a more advanced skill that can take a lifetime to master HOWEVER being able to be flexible is a start. Help your child handle disappointments, setbacks, and failures so they understand they are normal, everything will be okay and that there can be a lesson or something better to come from it. Help them to understand that they cannot control other people’s actions, only their own. Help them to let go of what they can’t control and focus on what they can. This is truly a hard lesson for all of us but it is an important one.

Teach your child time management. We easily feel overwhelmed when we don’t know how to manage our time. Things start to pile up because we didn’t plan our time wisely. Having several deadlines around the same time can add a lot of stress that can lead to feelings of anxiety.

Help your child tackle whatever is making them feel overwhelmed. This does NOT mean to do it for them. It does mean to you can help them work through whatever is troubling them. Help them know what steps they need to take to tackle a project. Help them chunk a big project into smaller pieces. Teach them how to say “no” respectfully to avoid adding too many things to their plate at once.

Talk to a counselor. Find someone who is trained to deal with anxiety and depression. Having someone who is outside of your situation can help you work through things, make a plan and overcome the anxiety/depression. In some cases medication may even be discussed.