Happy Birthday!

Today is my birthday. In my twenties, I used my birthday to look ahead at all the plans, hopes and dreams I had. So much was happening. Starting a business, buying a home, getting married, and having babies. My twenties flew by but not exactly the way I thought they would.

When I entered my thirties I wanted things to be different but I didn’t know how to go about it. I was in a bad marriage, depressed, felt hopeless. The first few years I worked really hard at making the best of my situation and hoping the people and circumstances around me would change. Instead, things got worse and by 33 I was taking my kids and moving out of our home to keep us safe. At 34, I decided I would never allow my life to be dictated by anyone but myself and that I would not be a victim of circumstance. Life didn’t get automatically get better with that decision, in fact in some ways it got harder. I had to stand up for myself and the people in my life weren’t used to that.

Today I turn 35 and although I am no where close to where I thought I would be in life, it is okay (that was really hard to type). I could be upset by this or I can make this year different. Over the past 35 years I have learn so much. Most of the lessons were the hard kind to learn. They have stripped my life down to the bare bones and now I can either crumble or rebuild. I choose to rebuild. I choose this birthday to be the birthday of my better life; the life that I am going to create that is full of meaningful relationships, peace, love, and joy.

This year I am going to talk about a lot of hard things. Things that I have gone through and what people around me are going through. I am going to talk about how to overcome the bad, learn from it and move forward. After a lot of fear, self-doubt and just plain feeling stupid, I decided that it was important to talk about all the hard stuff in life and the good stuff. It is imperative that we reach out to one another and build each other up rather than turning inward or putting on an act like our lives are perfect. This year I am working hard NOT to be comfortable, not to settle and not to give up hope for my life.

I hope you join me (so much so that I think you should get a cupcake today for my birthday)!